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I'm not ashamed to admit I love gossiping.

Maybe not so much gossiping, but more of listening to other people gossip. Hearing about who has got a crush on who, who got into a fight with who, what family issues that one girl has...it has always fascinated me. Learning about people, their psyche and their background, gives so much insight into who they are and provides context to their behaviors.

Unfortunately for me, gossiping gets a bit of a bad rep. After all, it is the cause of slanderous rumors. People who spill tea on others (figuratively) are deemed untrustworthy. People who yak presumptuously about others are deemed air-headed. There are people who despise them, and there are people who are them. Nonetheless, no matter how much we try to convince ourselves that we are above gossiping, we are inherently busybodies, and there shouldn't be any shame to wanting to know more about the people around us. 

We are social creatures. Being a busybody is literally what drives us forward as a society, whether for good or for bad.

There was a period of time I was conflicted between my desire to participate in gossip and being the "better" person by staying out of them. I knew things about people but felt obligated to not share them because having a zipped mouth was a more desirable trait and I was working towards being better at keeping confidentialities, even if they have never explicitly said to keep them secret. But slowly, I've found that because I'm such a boring ass person and the only interesting thing about me is other people's stories, I had nothing to talk about in conversations with friends. I couldn't discuss with friend A about friend B's anxiety because that was gossiping and gossiping was bad and I didn't want to be bad, even though I wanted so badly to have an intriguing conversation with a trusted friend about someone we mutually care about.

Gossiping is merely talking about someone else without their knowledge. That is really all it is. It is not necessarily bad. It is a neutral term with a negative reputation because people tend to slander their subject. We point out their flaws and ridicule them to make ourselves feel morally superior. Is that really surprising though? We are all insecure in one way or more, and sometimes it manifests into saying something a little too negative about someone we honestly know little about. To say we don't gossip is just hypocritical.

Rather than fight it, I've decided to embrace it and do it with as much integrity as I can muster. I just love talking about people around me. I love hearing and knowing about them. Everything - from why their parents divorced, who they have loved and lost, their opinions about other people, why they had a fight with their best friend, whether they are struggling with their self-esteem - is interesting, no matter who I hear it from. I love crafting theories in my head about a person after learning what they have done - maybe they are depressed? Maybe they just weren't thinking straight? Maybe they had a past trauma? Is it due to their upbringing? I almost never know for sure. It's all in my head and I make sure it's harmless.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people." As much as I disagree, it is irrefutable that there is something a little shallow about the activity. Making guesses about a person without knowing for sure is not an action of moral high ground. But I firmly believe gossiping is only detrimental if you make it to be. As long as you take everything you hear with a grain of salt and have an open mind about people, indulge. That's my rule to myself about gossiping. 

But while the world is not ready to unstigmatize gossiping, I'll be gossiping here, which is to no one in particular, unless you're reading this, which means I've given you access to it. 

Hi. Welcome to my blog.

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So spill dat tea cos' I'm thirst-tea for it.

I'll gossip-ping on some tea.

Wow the op-puntunities are endless.

ok that was bad sorry